What I Want For My Birthday

I will turn 43 years old on Sunday, January 29. I'm usually not one to make a big deal about birthdays. I'm not big on forced merriment, and I don't like to remind myself that this may be the first year that I will be older than 100% of the Red Sox 40-man roster.

I'm not big on presents. This year, however, I'm asking for something. I want all of my NC-based friends, relatives, acquaintances, followers, and readers, to pledge to get up off their asses on May 8 and vote against the anti-LGBT amendment. (Seriously, click the link, and pledge.)

If you feel inclined to do more than that (I know most of you are going to vote against it anyway), please consider donating, volunteering, or attending an event.

If you aren't based in NC, please consider donating. We need all the help we can get.

I've explained why I'm against this amendment. It's not rocket science.

I want to remind everyone that this amendment, if passed, will affect you and your neighbors. It will strip basic protections from hundreds of thousands of North Carolina families. It will threaten child custody and visitation laws and increases risk factors for teen suicide. It will threaten domestic violence protections for all unmarried couples. It will threaten North Carolinians' most basic personal freedoms. It will harm our great state's economy.

Perhaps the best reason for voting against this amendment is the fact that we should never put our citizens' civil rights up for a vote.

If your religious views make you hesitant to commit, consider the growing number in the faith community who have no problem reconciling their vote with their faith.

Talk to your family members. Reach out to the people who you feel might not have all the information they need to accurately assess the damage this amendment could cause. Engage people in your communities, your schools, and your churches. Inform your Facebook friends and Twitter followers. Blog, send emails, and share links to resources.

Pass this post along to friends who don't even know me.  If your birthday is coming up (or not), pass this along to your friends and ask the same.

I don't ask for much. The best birthday present I could receive would be to know that each of you consider doing something -- whatever you can -- to help defeat this initiative.

Thank you.

Pastor Gives God's State Of The Union

Pastor,  and prop aficionado, Steven Andrew

Pastor Steven Andrew, who recently blessed us with his overtly-theocratic and grammatically offensive Christian Voters Guide, delivered God's State of the Union address yesterday. (The video of the address can be viewed below.)

So, not only are Americans entitled to a GOP rebuttal, we also get to hear God's.

Or at least God as he speaks through Pastor Andrew (which is, apparently, speaking in a Mister Rogers tone, but with a slight lisp, and surrounded by props).

Andrew begins his address with a prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before you in Jesus' name, and father we ask, what is your state of the union. What do you want to tell Americans? Father, we look to you. You are our God, and we thank you now for answering us."

Andrew then spends some time telling us that America is a Christian nation, as he is wont to do. You see, in Andrew's view, non-Christians are not Americans. And there's certainly no place for homosexuals here, either.

What kind of God is willing to overlook a lukewarm church? A God who is willing to overlook a nation that has taken God out of government, schools, and courts? A God who is willing to overlook the sins of taking the holy bible and Christian prayer of school. A god who is willing to overlook 53+ million abortions?...But the blood of Jesus Christ is able to cleanse our nation and each individual who has been partaking of those abortions.

There is forgiveness for you and there's forgiveness for America through Jesus Christ. And also a God who's willing to overlook the sexual and homosexual sins that have been in the United States of America. Can you imagine a love so great?

Now I also want to ask you to look at a God who's willing to forgive Americans for foreign gods. God is a jealous God and yet the blood of Jesus says that He will forgive us as we repent from foreign gods.

Did you know that 80% of Americans say are Christians today? We have always been a Christian nation and we always will be a Christian nation. The reason is because we are a covenant Christian nation. You can't break a covenant.

Now, also look at a God willing to forgive all the Christians and Catholics who have voted for ungodly people, like Barack Obama, or for a Mormon cult member like Mitt Romney.

In an interview with The Christian Post, Andrew was asked about his belief that Obama is ungodly. He stated that Obama is a "wolf in sheep's clothing."

"What is Obama's fruit? His fruit is taking God out of government, lying that we're not a Christian nation, leaving living babies alone to die who survive botched abortions, repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell...this is his fruit. So according to our Lord Jesus Christ, Obama's a wolf in sheep's clothing. It doesn't matter what he says."

Andrew believes that Obama was trying to turn George Washington's "Christian law into a non-Christian law," in regards to repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell.

"Ever since the beginning of the USA, homosexual sin has been outlawed in the military and the reason is because we want God to bless us in the military. And now for the first time in America people are trying to change into non-Christian ways," he said.

"Obama is against Christ...he's trying to break our covenant with God. The greatest evil anyone can do is leading a nation away from Jehovah."

Regarding Mitt Romney as "cult member," Andrew's USA Christian Ministries stated the following in a press release:

To help Christians understand the Mormon election issue [Andrew] has written "Five Mormon Cult Errors." The errors are Mormons: 1) deny God, 2) preach another gospel, 3) hide the cross, 4) have occult practice and 5) are anti-Christian.

"Many people know that Mormons teach heresies like Jesus is the spirit brother of Lucifer. But do people know voting for Romney will bring God's judgment (2 Chronicles 19:2)?" he adds. "Voting for Romney or Obama who do not follow God causes the economy to decline and removes Christian freedoms (Deuteronomy 28, Leviticus 26).

"If you love Jesus Christ, you won't vote for Mormon Romney," he adds."

Regarding homosexuality, here are some gems from Pastor Andrew, in his own words:

God created male and female. He shows us that there is a difference between the holy ways of one man and one woman lifelong marriage and the unholy ways of fornication, adultery and homosexual sin. God says that when people commit sexual immorality, they “defile My holy name” and a nation doing so is “defiled.”

God and history show us that God destroys homosexual societies.

Be careful you are not deceived. Some are lying about what our Founding Fathers believed on sexual sin. The truth is answered with this question: Who made the laws making homosexual sin illegal in the USA? Our Founding Fathers, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson… made homosexual sin illegal in all thirteen colonies, followed by all fifty states. Why? They obeyed God. They were modest and preferred not to say the word “sodomy” so they called the sin “a crime not fit to be named”. George Washington removed by court martial homosexuals out of the military to have God’s blessing.

You have to decide are you on God’s side and our Founding Fathers’ side or are you on sin’s side. You can’t support both. Which side are you on?

In God's State of the Union, Andrew wraps up with a quick prayer, and a sales pitch to purchase his book.

Patrick 'Diaper' Wooden: Gays Shove Cellphones, Bats & Gerbils Up their Anuses

Pastor, spinkster expert

This guy.

Here's Pastor Patrick "Diaper" Wooden defending his "gays need to wear diapers and butt plugs to contain their bowels" comment.

He sure knows a lot about the "spinkster" muscle.

And in case, you were unaware, folks: "The anus is not a vagina."

Watch:

NC Pastor Patrick 'Diaper' Wooden & 'Porno' Pete Labarbera: Chaz Bono Under Satan's Influence

Remember Pastor Patrick 'Diaper' Wooden, the Raleigh preacher who said gays need to wear diapers and butt plugs just to contain their bowels?

Dumb and Dumber

He's quickly skyrocketing into the batshit stratosphere, thanks to 'Porno' Pete LaBarbera, who has taken Wooden under his anti-gay wing recently. (Wooden was one of the African American pastors who LaBarbera assembled in an attempt to lend credibility the recent protest of the Southern Poverty Law Center in Montgomery, Alabama.)

Right Wing Watch recently stumbled across the below video of Porno Pete and Diaper Pat discussing of homosexuality in America.

While discussing the transgender movement, which LaBarbera called "the most awful, God-rejecting movement" he's ever seen, the two focused in on Chaz Bono.

Bono, according to Wooden, is under the influence of the Devil and demon spirits.

The two went on to call Bono "horrifying."

Wooden states, "Here is a woman who, because of the influence of the Devil, demon spirits and spirits of perversion...actually paid to have both of her healthy breasts removed."

Watch:

The Biological Logistics Of Noah's Ark

If you've ever thought the Noah's Ark narrative in Genesis is a bit far-fetched, you'll really appreciate this very smart, and extremely funny, send-up created by NonStampCollector.

And if you've never thought the Noah's Ark narrative is far-fetched, you will now.

Get Your Crayons Ready! It's The Creation Museum Dinosaur Coloring Contest!

The folks over at Kentucky's Creation Museum have announced a fun way to get your children on their way to needing remedial instruction in science.

Can you draw a saddle and a human?

The Creationist Disneyland, as NCSE director Eugenie Scott likes to call it, will give your child $5 off their admission for coloring a picture of their friendly dinosaur. (The dinosaur was created by God on day 6, it says on the page.)

Or, if your child likes to draw, they can turn in a drawing of their favorite dinosaur. If a child were to go this route, I imagine they might get bonus points for drawing Adam & Eve, perhaps saddled atop the dinosaur on a romantic ride through Eden.

The contest will be judged in four age groups: preschool, 5–7 year olds, 8–11 year olds, and 12–14 year olds.

While the Creation Museum is a bit vague about what exactly kids might win, they have confirmed that "prizes will be awarded."

One can be fairly certain that science education is not among the prizes.

Here's what some smart people have had to say about the museum:

British scientist, doctor, and professor Robert Winston:

It was alarming to see so much time, money and effort being spent on making a mockery of hard won scientific knowledge. And the fact that it was being done with such obvious sincerity, somehow made it all the worse.

The National Center For Science Education received over 800 signatures from scientists in the three states closest to the museum (Kentucky, Indiana, and Ohio) on the following statement:

We, the undersigned scientists at universities and colleges in Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana, are concerned about scientifically inaccurate materials at the Answers in Genesis museum. Students who accept this material as scientifically valid are unlikely to succeed in science courses at the college level. These students will need remedial instruction in the nature of science, as well as in the specific areas of science misrepresented by Answers in Genesis.

Lisa Park, professor of paleontology at University of Akron, and an Elder in the Presbyterian Church:

I think it's very bad science and even worse theology... and the theology is far more offensive to me. I think there's a lot of focus on fear, and I don't think that's a very Christian message... I find it a malicious manipulation of the public.

British writer A.A. Gill:

A breathtakingly literal march through Genesis, without any hint of soul...This place doesn't just take on evolution—it squares off with geology, anthropology, paleontology, history, chemistry, astronomy, zoology, biology, and good taste. It directly and boldly contradicts most -onomies and all -ologies, including most theology.

I think they owe thousands of childen an ap-ology.

Freud, Marx & Darwin: The Trinity of Secular Humanism?

The loons over at Liberty Counsel apparently know more about secular humanism than I do, and I'm a secular humanist.

The Holy Trinity

They've been a-scared of secular humanism for some time, having stated that secular humanism is "a religion with no God," and claiming that it has become the established religion of the United States of America. I must have missed both of those memos.

Oh, and by the way, guys, secular humanism is not a religion. It's a philosophy, a worldview. And it happens to reject anything resembling what you might describe as religion, but let's not get caught up in semantics.

Today, on Liberty Counsel's 'Faith & Freedom' radio show, Shawn Akers stated that secular humanism has its own Holy Trinity: Freud, Marx, & Darwin.

I'll tell you something that's really interesting, Ron. There was a poet by the name of William Butler Yeats wrote a poem called "The Second Coming" around the early 1900s and his idea was that every two thousand years, a new God arises. And it was kind of striking that, after two thousand years after Christ, about the time that Yeats wrote this poem, no new God was to be found, or at least we didn't think so.

But it was about that time Darwin came on the scene and told us that you really created yourself by dragging yourself out of the primordial ooze and evolving faster then all the other species. And Marx came along and told us really that religion is the opiate of the masses, that if you're going to be fed, you're going to feed yourself. And then Freud came along and said if you don't feel good about yourself, don't look to a god to heal you, you got to dig down deep in yourself through psychoanalysis and you're your own counselor.

What I find interesting about that, Ron, is that we took the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit - the father that told us where we came from, that I created you in the beginning, we took the Son that said I'll tell you that I'm going to feed you and heal you and tell you how to find your substance, and we took the counselor, the Holy Spirit, and we put Freud in his place and said you counsel yourself.

In other words, the new god that arose under Yeats' scheme was secular humanism. It was making man god.

Funny thing is, as a secular humanist, I don't claim to know very much about Marx at all, and all I really know about Freud is what I learned in an introductory psychology course in college. I haven't read works by either. (I'm not really bragging about this, it's just the ugly truth.) I know plenty about Darwin, but mostly because he stumbled across the most one of the most important scientific concepts ever generated, and because I am very interested in biology.

See, the idea that we should seek to maximize human fulfillment through science, reason, and secular values does not require any particular figureheads. Sure, there are individuals who, through their discoveries, philosophies, and teachings, help to make sense of the universe as we navigate our lives. But that's all they do. They are not messianic. They are not martyrs. They are simply other human beings whose insights may or may not augment our non-religious approach to life.

So if this is my Holy Trinity, I am probably going to flunk my secular humanism confirmation classes.

Watch:

AFA: Home Depot 'Digging In' On Pro-LGBT Causes

The home improvement culture wars are hell.

On one side, we have Home Depot, who appear to want to be on the right side of history. They have adapted policies supporting LGBT rights and diversity (including same-sex marriage), and they even sponsor gay pride events.

OH NOES!

On the other side, we have Lowe's. If you recall, Lowe's pulled ads from the reality show 'All American Muslim' after caving to pressure from the Florida Family Association and supporters. (Home Depot did not.)

In addition to showing their colors on the issue of religious and ethnic diversity, Lowe's doesn't fare so well on LGBT equality either. Lowes scored a 30 on the Human Rights Campaign's 'Corporate Equality Index (PDF),' which ranks workplaces on LGBT equality. Home Depot, on the other hand, scored an 85.

The American Family Association, the SPLC-designated hate group masquerading as a 'pro-family' non-profit, issued a boycott of Home Depot back in 2010 due to their decision "to sponsor and participate in numerous gay pride parades and festivals. Most grievous is The Home Depot's deliberately exposing small children to lascivious displays of sexual conduct by homosexuals and cross-dressers, which are a common occurrence at these events."

While the AFA crowed just weeks ago that Home Depot appeared to be silently caving to the pressure from the AFA boycott (the AFA also asks that supporters 'pray for Home Depot Chairman Frank Blake to make wise decisions regarding his company's direction'), it appears that now the AFA believes Home Depot is doubling down.

Randy Sharp, AFA's director of special projects:

"Once we brought that to light, Home Depot made a public statement to everyone who contacted them and said [essentially] 'No, we haven't changed any policies. When it comes to homosexuality, homosexual marriage in our culture, we will continue to support it financially.'"

According to Sharp, Home Depot is breaking its own written policies by giving to homosexual events.

"Home Depot has a policy regarding grants and donations," he points out. "They will give cash and they will allow their employees to march in uniform in homosexual 'gay pride' parades. However, if a local church or Christian ministry were to have a parade, Home Depot would not donate to that and ... would not allow their employees to participate while in uniform."

Yesterday, Home Depot issued a statement to the AFA:

"We have never changed our commitment to diversity and inclusion of all people, and we have no intention of doing so. Nor have we changed our apron policy or the guidelines for our charitable giving."

The AFA responded to this by alerting their supporters that Home Depot is "digging in."

"Home Depot said it will continue to support homosexual activities," states their alert to supporters.

If Home Depot is "digging in," I know of a place where all of us should be purchasing shovels.

Televangelist To Glenn Beck: 'Glee' Being Used By 'Powers In The Realm Of Darkness' To 'Deceive' & 'Bring Us Down'

While Glenn Beck and his guest, televangelist James Robison, certainly agree that the talent on display in 'Glee' is "staggering" and "brilliant," it appears that they also believe all that singing and dancing is the work of Old Scratch himself.

Robison, the founder of Life Outreach International, appeared on Beck's show last week and stated that the wonderfully talented actors and singers on 'Glee' are being used by the "principalities and powers in the realm of darkness and deception" to "deceive and really to bring us down, away from God, away from truth."

Watch: